Whore. Cunt. Slut. Trash.

That's what my mother thinks of me. Maybe that's all I am. Maybe that's all I will ever be.

I asked her what each ibuprofen tablet consists of in mg and she said "What are you gonna commit suicide? Always have to have the attention on you?!" Are you serious?

From everything she's said this is what I think. She's jealous. She's jealous because I've learned from all of the fucked up shit she's done and I'm living my life the right way. I'm going somewhere. When I get married, I won't be spending every last dime on my wedding and be in danger of losing my house. I'll have enough money because I'll work for it.

My whole life all I've done is go to school, look foward to college, and hope for a bright future. I'm mostly nice to most people. Everyone can be a bitch once in a while. I give everyone more chances than they deserve. I help people even when it inconveniences me. But, I'm selfish. And, I'm a bad person. Good people break other people's belongings and talk shit about them and degrade them. That's what good people do.
I'm happy you're such a fuck up, mommy, because now I know what to look out for and who not to trust. Unfortunately for you, I'm a great judge of character. I can see right through all of your harsh words and I know what they really mean. That's your problem. You never look pass the words to see what is really going on.
Anyway, I don't really care what you think about me or what you do with your life or who you fuck or how many kids you end up with. That's your life. Mine will be something to be proud of and, as far as I'm concerned, it already is.

Oh, and she says that all I do is talk and I never shut up. Um, okay. She's never home and it's never just me and her. So, when I think of something I forgot to ask her or something, she flips out. I'm not allowed to speak so I don't know what universe she lives in. I got in trouble for asking a question because her soon-to-be husband didn't like her answer. What the fuck?

You're planet makes no sense. It's upside down, inside out, and caught on fire. No one can save you and no one can stop you.

Just see - you think you need to save my room so I have a place to stay when I come home? Pfffff. Who said I was coming home? That's right. You took enough time away from me and the rest of my family. What makes you think I'm coming back to this shit hole to suffer in the agony of negativity? One year left and you won't ever have to worry about me again. Then you can be happy with your family. Because it is your family, remember? You said "you aren't going to ruin my family!" Let me just remind you of something. No one in your life knows you as well as I do. Or at least as well as I used to. You seemed happier at one time. This life that you seem to think is perfect just makes you weary and miserable. You can fool everyone else, but you can't fool me. I was your FIRST kid. You loved me at one point. You cared about what I had to say. You congratualted me when I did things well. You kissed me goodnight. You told me you loved me. Or was it all just an illusion? A fantasy? Whatever it was, it sure as hell didn't last.